so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
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he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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