Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize