please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
