Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
