my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize