I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Two words: blizzard sex
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
