I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Do vagina's smell?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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