So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
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Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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