Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I enjoy the company of your penis
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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