I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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