are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
