She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
