It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
