Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize