im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
