In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i think im in europe. pls send help
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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