SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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