i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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