Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
