Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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