you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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