girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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