I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
