How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
