Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
