I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
