I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This is my gift to your gina
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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