I just pynch a tree in the face
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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