He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize