I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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