He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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