Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I looked at my own cervix.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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