Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
