Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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