Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
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I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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