I cannot find my penis.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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