How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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