You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
