Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
