I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
