Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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