What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
