I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
