It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Never joke about your clitoris.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
