there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
