doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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