my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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