hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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