k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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