Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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