i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize