First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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