its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
