She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
