i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
