I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
