No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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