Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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