Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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