I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
