no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.