I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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