I puked a lego.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
