Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
