I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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