I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
