let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
