He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
you never un-have a 4some
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
